Hello Dad, It’s been a crap 23 weeks! I am still struggling to believe that you aren’t here with us. It has been a difficult time and it doesn’t feel like it is getting easier, the opposite in fact. I really didn’t want to let you go and scattering your ashes was such a hard thing to do. When I look at photos of you, they feel so real, I can hear you talking and remembering what you would say, it’s just too hard to believe you are not with us. There have been a lot of first to deal with: Birthdays, Christmas, New Year, Easter. It has started to feel more difficult recently, adjusting to life without you, after your funeral, Nige not being well, Christmas – I haven’t had time to myself. And yes ‘I look tired’ as you used to say to Mum. I have finally planted the bulbs that I bought in January – the weather has been so wet, there hasn’t been much time to get out in the garden. I do think as I am driving or doing certain jobs that I will ring you and ask what your advice is. I know you would say ‘Get them bulbs in’. I also bought some Dahlia Pom Poms for you. Easter brought back so many happy memories of you doing the Easter egg hunt, you were always first out in the garden to start looking for the eggs and not caring whose eggs they were - they went into your bag! And then you would sneak off to eat them before anybody could stop you. It was emotional time but we did the Easter egg hunt and there was a special egg for you with Sweet William seeds inside. We are getting ready to go on the Fjord cruise for Mum’s birthday, again this is so hard – you should be here celebrating with us. Mum is struggling to pack her case as you used to do this for her. We all miss you so much, and love you so much. We want a hug from you. We think about you all the time and you are always in our hearts. XXXOOOXXX